David Petersen Artworks

This is the most exhilarating bulletin that DavidPetersenArtworks has had the honor of posting, thus I shall personally see to this most exciting task. The legendary New York City/Potsdam-based art anti-movement, “des derrières” has confirmed its appearance in our little hamlet of Minneapolis, this May at the Art of This Gallery. It took long hours of negotiating via email and telephone, and even a personal visit to New York in an attempt to drink them into submitting to my demands of showing their dulling-edged art work. And at last, they shall come. Art of This Gallery proudly announces the 49th International, presented by des derrieres! Joy, mighty mighty joy! This show shall serve as a month-long celebration of the most influential art work of the pre-post-neo-dada era, works by the legendary Ellsworth von Heck, the allusive Henry Papier, and the curmudgeonly Mason Krägtorpe. They have promised drawing, painting, sculpture, video and performance, with an opening gala the eveing of 5 May 2007, followed by a day-long extravaganza featuring the annual Mayday Parade. Oh how my heart yearns for the Springtime! Please, I beg of you, if you have the ability to travel to this show, to see it with your own eyes, I am determined you will not find regret. Your view of things that purport to be art shall be changed, forever.
I love you all, David Petersen

Holy crap I can’t believe it! The Democrats have swept the elections giving them control of both houses of Congress. This unexpected result can and will mean only one thing: Money for the artists! Oh I can just smell the freshly printed currency coming our way, stacks and stacks of bills filling our studios. Fire up the Works Progress Administration for cripes sakes. Just start handing out all sorts of contracts to make giantly colorful paintings to hang in the lobbies of all the banks we are in debt to. (Is that irony? I have been wondering for some time.) That will get us in good with the rich people again. It has been a long time since we were tucked in so tightly in bed, scratching each other’s backs, snorting blow off of our chests…They will invite us to the most fabulous parties and everyone will be merry and drunk and buying each other’s art and snorting blow off someone else’s girlfriend’s chest…We will make so many lovely things and everyone will know it is truly Great Art and the history books will fill their pages with glossy reproductions of non-representational paintings (paintings that don’t look like nothing) entitled “Endless Darfur Suffering #2.” The museums will soon grant us retrospectives to exhibit the twelve pieces we have made in the past three years and only charge $18 to the tourists whose should really head down to the lobby of the bank that provided them the credit with which to finance their vacation. Finally, the univeristies will invite us to recite our lines to the swollen fresh-faced ranks of freshmen who have come looking to bask in the glow of our genius. And it is all thanks to the Democrats. I love them.
Sincerely Grateful, David Petersen