David Petersen Artworks

I am to do this as fast as I can, trés vite, so that cold of air cannot make me dead. I have only been in the city of Mineeapolice for a short while and I am frozen solid already. No wonder football is so bad in America. I mean soccer. Soccer is such un ugly word, trés bête. Oui. No wonder.

David is busy all day this day, but he tells me that I may write in his website if there is not too much de la français. The english is trés dificil for me, but I write better because it is slow. More slow. Slower.

This city is horrible for me. I do not understand the cold that it is, how do you live with the cold that it is. I am happy that I am only here, ici, for four days. Plus, the Walker gives me a pretty hotel to stay in. They say they can pick me up an drive me to anywhere I want to go. I mostly stay in hotel but go to Douglas Gordon’s room to raid the mini-bar. He and I will find David to hit the nightlife tonight, looking for your beautiful ladies, trés jolies, to keep us warm. Zizou going to make some hee-hoo.

The last place I and Douglas take to the town with the ladies I get catched by mon cheri, Véronique. She became furious as La France after I headbutt that Italiano sonuvabeetch Materazzi this summer. I tell her just like I tell referee: Mais, Je suis Zizou!

Friday, David will come visit Zizou at the Walker to view my new cinéma movie: ‘Zidane, un portrait du 21e siécle.’ It is about me. I tell Douglas who make movie to call it, ‘Zizou avant il fait le hee-hoo,’ because I score many goals that night. Aprés le jeux, if you know what I mean.

So then if you want to make the magic with David, Douglas et Zizou this weekend, we will begin at le Walker Friday á la nuit, and not stop until Zizou is in love with your city or the cold make him dead.

Go see ‘Zidane, un portrait du 21e siécle.’ It is about me.

Let’s briefly recap: The Democrats took over, December was a giant party and my teeth are falling out. Also, the temperature hasn’t been above Zero Fº in about three weeks, which is soul-crushing, and I no longer have cable television to warm myself with the glow of hockey games. The door handle of the van broke off (the good van) and my ring finger is as crooked as the V.P. February was beginning to look pretty grim.

Then, out of nowhere, completely unexpectedly, as if by magic, arrived a package from an old friend. Actually, this package had been laying around the art gallery for over a month, I had been expecting it, and I am pretty sure the post office delivered it in the traditional manner. Nontheless, this package contained a copy of a recent video by artist Aaron Steffes. And honestly, I don’t really know Aaron all that well.

But let me tell you what I do know. Aaron is a Midwesterner, hailing from Madison, Wisconsin, so he has got that going for him. Then, he moved to New York City to pursue the dream of an art career and $75/square foot real estate. He landed safely at City University of New Yok - Hunter College (a wise choice) with his palletes and paint brushes and got right to work. Then, like all artists risking to ditch the undergraduate garbage they were being praised for by octogenarian faculty members, Aaron began making some really fantastic stuff. It is to this of which I shall speak.

Aaron Steffes makes videos. He is not a video artist, though. The video is just the medium. Because Aaron writes them, directs them, films them, acts in them, casts his girlfriend in them (bold), writes the music in them, edits them, special effects them, and distributes them via the post office to anyone who inquires about them. He does it all, which includes making terribly good videos. His imagination is outrageous, his ideas can be downright absurd. He conjures thought-provoking and poignant stories and places them in the midst of hilarious homemade videography. But don’t be fooled: These works are understated underdogs not to be undervalued. It is easy to point out their goofy qualities and odd ridiculousness. Underestimating viewers might have no problem writing them off as weird or unexciting. These people are dummies.

The best part is that they are so unexpectedly great. And I say unexpectedly because almost everything about them is so ‘bad.’ I don’t say ‘bad’ to mean awful or poor, but bad in the sense that they do not have the Chelsea-produced polish to them. The camera bounces around, the dialogue is seemingly unrehearsed, the setting is just his apartment, and the storylines are so unrealistic that you cannot believe someone came up with them without the use of some hardcore recreational drugs. Let’s try to be specific: The last video of his that I saw was about a guy who had a seizure, was tackled by a heavy chair, and stuck with only a crossword puzzle to do in his head that then became a metaphor for the idealism of Maoism. In his latest work, Aaron, a tall, string-cheese looking artist, compares himself to 1970’s superathlete Bruce Jenner by training for decathalons with new-age meditation to the point where he thinks he is being attacked by a crystal jar of potpourri. HUH?

Seriously, you have got to check them out, they are really fun and have lots of surprises. He will probably even send you a copy for free. The best part is he will have no idea how you found him. afsteffes@yahoo.com. Serioulsy.