Blogger’s Block Begone!
Tuesday, June 26th, 2007
I swear that I started this blog entry at least two weeks ago but then the art gallery moved and then there was the fundraiser and Japanther was in town for like a week and it turns out there is such a thing as a bottomless bag of weed. Then the lady of my life went into some sort of false labor for like 36 hours and we thought we would be moving into a room at the nearest hospital. But then I remembered I needed to finish remodeling the house so we would have a place to put the little bugger and then I cut my thumb off on the compound miter saw. There was blood everywhere but my right distal phalanx has a sweet new 45 degree angle. Plus, I have gone all yuppie and begun playing tennis again, so I am constantly washing my whites. There just hasn’t been any time to blog up the art and culture world in which we live. Which is too bad because there have been some pretty amazing things going on these past few weeks and I am just completely behind and couldn’t even begin to tell you where I fell off the boat.
The only milieu I have been able to keep my toes in has been the political realm over there in the District of Columbia. (The folks on the tube are always referring to it as ‘Washington’ but I must say, it seems like they shold take advantage of the cool name that it has and call it ‘D.C.’ or ‘The District.’ Then CBS could make it into a mediocre drama series that would star someone like Craig T. Nelson. Oops, I have just been informed by one of my new interns that this show already exists.) Oh yeah I got a new intern the other day and he is working out fantastically. Jerome makes a delicious espresso and is always on top of current events in D.C. He informed me today of the Vice President’s thus-far successful attempts to avoid handing over classified documents to the National Archives by insisting that the V.P.’s office is not a part of the Executive Branch of the Republic. And it’s not part of the Legislative Branch, they claim, either which puts it in this strange nether region of government (kind of like the existence of ‘The District’ as it is a part of the United States and its citizens can vote and it has a single representative in the House but that person doesn’t get to vote on a damned thing. Crazy). However, this ingenous representative from Chicago, Rahm Emanuel, who apparently has an even more foul-mouth than the V.P., is proposing an amendment to the Executive Finance Bill that would cut appropriations to the Vice President’s office if Mr. Cheney refuses to be recognized as a part of the Executive. Of course, Mr. Emanuel cannot actually hope to eliminate this $4.4 million from the bill, yet he is posied to fight until Cheney’s office hands over the files, which of course will most certainly not clean up the mess that is the last six years in…’The District.’ But you have to like Mr. Emanuel’s spirit.
Did anyone see that Slayer was today’s featured article on Wikipedia? You goddamn right. What I didn’t know was that they won a Grammy Award this year for their jam, ‘Eyes of the Insane.’ If only I hadn’t heard their album, Reign in Blood, like a 100 million times back in my college days at the Sweetwater Tavern, I might actually give a crap. It is nice though to see the boys down at Wikipedia highlighting something that hasn’t been dead or extinct for hundreds or a hundred thousand years. Do you really want to know about the Thescelosaurus (bipedal ornithopod), the Hoysala Empire (South Indian dynasty between the 10th and 14th centuries) or Elais Ashmole (total dickhead)? Slayer Rules!
Maybe I am just too behind the times. What, Paris Hilton got out of jail last night? Who the hell put her in jail, she wouldn’t last a week? Was it the porn she is so good at starring in? Jerome, please don’t tell me it was some sort of victimless crime like driving while intoxicated. Jerome!
Well, now I have to sort out my new intern. Don’t worry, I will be back in full effect after Labor Day, when the leaves begin to turn, the air crispens and a slew of recent MFA graduates from SVA or Cooper Union are begging Mary Boone for a job just to get a glimpse of a 20 year-old David Salle painting down at her gallery’s storage facility. It’s too bad, they could always come to work for me. Now where did Jerome run off to?
