It’s Crunch Time and I’m Cap’n Crunch
Apparently there have been concerns lately regarding my “stability.” Those concerns have been dispatched, as have those who raised them. What? A guy can’t disappear for a few days to make a little art? Somebody got a problem with a little drinking and yelling? Can’t handle a meltdown? Be gone.
It just so happens that me and Count Chocula scored some pretty sweet tickets to a hockey game. Problem was, it was in Edmonton, Alberta. That dude sure knows how to party, and that was just the beginning. But unfortunately, two weeks of some pretty solid “drink all day, drink all night” takes its toll on us old guys. I get cranky. The Count gets righteous. Next thing you know, you’re doing the spread eagle on the hood of a cruiser cause the dude in the Hummer just happens to be a city council something or other and he didn’t appreciate it when your U-lock removed his passenger side mirror. And the mounties really don’t being called ‘pig,’ ‘Dudley Do-Right,’ or ‘dicksucker.’
Needless to say I had some time on my hands. And a chance to clear the cobwebs out of my head and the booze out of my blood. And a few moments of degradation, deprivation and de-shit knocked out of me. All the better to get to work on my upcoming show, opening in twelve days mind you, in Brooklyn, NY.
So that is the story and I am sticking to it. Plus I got the Edmonton police record to show for it. As for those little pansy puffs back at the studio who wet themselves at my inconvenienced absence, good luck working with them nerds over at the copy shop. We don’t need ya.