Not going to Northeast, just to the Northeast
This time I am only pretending to be drunk. What’s up with, what’s it called, Artawhirl. How do you spell that? With some dashes, some a’s, some whirl? I think it is all this weekend. Huh? Nothing. I am going to be outta town.
The best thing about Art-OH-Whirl is the painting. There are gazillions of them there. And they are really good and everyone wants one. Why did I ever stop painting? It is the easiest thing ever. So easy. Buy a bunch of canvasses, pretty regular sizes, like 24×36, 44×56 and maybe some big boys at like 66×88. You could make them yourself, but why the F bother when the art store has them all stretched, gessoed and relatively square in a rack towards the rear. You already have a bunch of crummy brushes lying around and maybe some exotic painting tools like a roller or a putty knife or a sponge. Easel schmeasel, just set the canvasses on a pair of old paint cans. And paint, get some paint. You can’t go wrong here, with either fancy oils or cheap acrylics or dad’s leftover housepaint. It all sticks. So far you have spent maybe a hundred bucks, well below any credit card limit, and considering how many paintings you can make in an hour, I’d bet that for every 100$ you spend, 1000$ comes back. That is my kind of math.
Let’s look at paintings together now:
This little lemon is by Manet. It is called “The Lemon.” He must have been so rich.
Jackson Pollock was so drunk when he painted this. He was celebrating how easy it was to make a painting drunk and then call it “Number One”.
David Salle should have run for president of the United States after finishing this painting. He totally would have been the winner, just like this painting called “My Subjectivity.”
Barney, you just blew my mind. I want to be you.
As you can see as clear as day the painters of art-a-wirl have some big shoes to fill. My shoes however will be in New York City where there is almost as much painting as the Northrup King Building. Let’s look at the paintings I will see when I am in the Big Apple, and by that I mean West 24th Street:
Albert Oehlen is getting up there in age but he is still brushing that paint around like a hip 20-something. Luhring Augustine here I come.
Dana Schutz has some stuff lying around LFL. Everyone seems to love these, but I still don’t get it. I hope she makes more.
This painting is from a series called “Yardwork.” What the F does Gary Hume know about trimming the hedges?
Did Metro Pictures close?
Anyhow, obviously I have some homework to do before my trip. But when I get back let my painting career begin. While I am away, please send me pictures of all the amazing paintings you find o’er Noreast this weekend. I can’t believe I am going to miss it. You are going to have such a good time.