David Petersen Artworks

Whoa, I thought these was the Dog Days. Ain’t this spposed to be when y’alls had it up to here with the infernal heat and humidity, all them bug bites and poison ivys reddenen up yer legs. Too many cookouts, too many trips to the lake, too many fat ass mans with no shirt and short shorts getting their tans on. And too many art openings with the cheap wines and Pabstes and “You got dressed up for this shit?” and nonchalant yet falsified sophisticatated looks at the walls and “Hey, grrrrreat show, man” and too many times you have to roll the eyes up in to yer head cause J Christ if I see that one more goddamn time inside or out, big or small, red or blue or whatever the F you call that color…Too too many.

But no, not this summer. It ain’t going to get like that. It just ain’t been being like that. Not that I been seeing. Other than the fat mans and fuschias, this has been one of the most uniquenessest summers of all times. There was first off, the kids in the super villain costumes that strobed in the darkness and somehow stuck around to discuss the finer points of Litterachure and “La Plage” and it’s cool that y’all haven’t had me over for a nightcap yet. That’s how super villains roll. Some time-travelers showed up from the future only to take us back like 40 whole years so we could see someswhat how we got to be wheres we at. Then, a foursome of corporate porno-clowns rolled in and blew our minds with shiny new machines that do the un-supposed-to-doable. And one hells of a sale pitch. Unfortunate-like we won’t be forgetting the naked kid who was dissing and pissing on the paintings we all wish we had mades, they was just that good. Hey, Naked kid, don’t you come around now ya hear?
There was some other haters along the way, a couple of them tried and true, oops, I meant tired and fucking boring old folks thinking they knows everything by saying that the young kids think they knows everything even though they just doing the same things over and over that have alreadys been tried by some young kids that are now old or better, dead. Theys might know who they are, if theys ain’t taking a nap at 2:30 in the afternoon while the Trinitron blares Matlock or Mama’s Family. Theys probably the ones that came up with the notions of the Dog Days in the first place, cause I guess they just ain’t gots the stamina. That’s too bad, theys really missing out on some real high grade just cause theys refusing to remove their blinders of having ’seens’ it all before. At least Naked kid wasn’t a know-it-alls.

If theres been anything to hit with the nitpicks this summer, its been the just that, them folkses that just ain’t quite getting their ways so they tries to drag everybody else into their mess. I’s don’t even have nothing to say to that kind of sorry business of undies in a bunch when alls you have to do is see that your problems ain’t the center of attentions no more. Look at here: I gots some serious spinal issues, the kind that wakes me from my slumbers and is ex-asserbated by like 50 different damn things, whether its the age nearer 40 every day or the kids climbing up my legs or the endless drinking or the nagging about my shitty Chef-Boy-R-Dees dinners or half a dozen deadlines that just ain’t gonna get made. But am I sending you a sad sap letter all drippy with tears and goo so yous can make it all better? Hell the F no. Do you see me typing up some phony baloney notes and shoven em into jars for a shelf of self pity, woe is me, make it all better? Would you even give half a rats hind end if I come banging on yer doors right about dinner times like the Greenpeace looking for a dollar worth of dimes so the inflatable sea raft can get just a few meters closer to the SS ExxonMobilCondaleezaRice so we can alls make it all better?

Nobodys seems to want to take care of their owns during the Dog Days.

Predictions #1. Look for a big ole disappointment come elections time when the self-proclaiming lefty folks that have ‘had it up to hear’ with the spensive gas and the wars that kill a bunch of kids they don’t knows and the foreclosures making the neighborhood values plummet can’t quite bring themselfs to vote - for the uppity black guy who behaving like he might have an actual chance at getting presidential,how dare he? - cause as it turns out Tuesdays after work is Bikram Yoga night.

Predictions #2. I can never get over the urges of using ad hominem attacks when trying to counter the nonsensicals of old fuddy duddies who can’t seem to leave their own decrepit baggage at the thresholds of today. There I goes again.

Predictions #3. This scene we all thinks we are such a big and vitalistic part of will always be far biggers than any single of us regardlessness of how young or old or connected to the West Bank or NYC and that as soon as you start shouting all ‘they way it used to be’ it is a sure as shit signal that you gots left behind at least five summers ago, cause you gots no stamina for the Dog Days.

Enough sweatin’ to the oldies, let’s get back to the funs.

OOOOOWEEE! Yesterday afternoon, despite my proximity to Uptown (i.e. so right in the middle of it I might as well have been temporarily employed as some sort of stray french fry picker-upper at Café Barbette), while receiving -more like enduring- an annual 75-minute massage, complete with Chinese Cupping, from the hands, elbows and, I think for a couple instances, knees of an absolute muscle-kneading genius, I couldn’t help but happily compare my own ‘hurts so good’ experience to the ‘frustrated as hell’ predicament of the ‘Minnesota artists’ who were supposedly infiltrating the members’ meeting at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts, occurring at precisely the same moment as I was being mushed, mashed, stretched and torqued about. The smirk on my face couldn’t have been much smirkier.

Oh, you need some background info? This goes back to last Saturday morning, when I should have been attending to my usual domestic duties of dishes and diapers when my curiosity got the better of me in regards to a certain ‘community meeting’ poised to discuss the future of the Minnesota Artists Exhibition Program, that small piece of the museum where your buddy somehow got to show her or his work a little while back. Back in the day it was in that shitty, hall-like space at the top of the stairs above the lobby. And before that I think it was probably somewhere worse. But now they have these totally posh digs over in the new Target® annex adjacent to the contemporary galleries which makes the work in the MAEP spaces actually feel like it means something, despite an odd urge to go down to Nicollet Mall for some laundry detergent and toothpaste. Which just wasn’t the case in the old days, like 3 years ago. So I ride bike down to MIA and somehow luck out and get to sit next to - no lying - artist-turned-begrudging writer Andy S. (he wears it well) who hopefully doesn’t think all the mumbling and grumbling seated beside him is the onset of Tourette’s Syndrome. I just can’t keep certain things under my breath.

Let’s recap this recap ASAP: @ MIA, new admin. chief streamlines the admin. structure in the curatorial depts. Said streamlining redirects curatorial heads of depts. away from Exec. Dir. to a curator who now oversees several of the curatorial depts. ‘Not cool,’ say the MAEP folks. Insult to injury, the MAEP must also report to the new head of the new Contemporary Art Dept., who then reports to the head of all the other curatorial depts. before word can get to the Exec. Dir. So loud are the MAEP’s saying ‘Not cool’ now, that 30-year serving head coordinator of MAEP, Stewart Turnquist, who has since gone MIA, as in AWOL, resigns.
Jump ahead to the meeting, and the chorus of complaints directed towards Exec. Dir. whose attempts at reassuring the MAEP’s that ‘nothing is going to change’ are falling on deaf ears. Literally, I think. So Exec. Dir. finally leaves, realizing she ain’t getting paid to repeat herself over and over on a Saturday morning. Subsequently, reports from anon. sources, have her spotted at the BLB for ‘more than several’ Bloody Mary’s. Long story trying to wrap itself up, the MAEP’s are fearful that their magic carpet ride of autonomy in the MIA may be coming to an un-Democratic and un-Minnesotan end, the possibility of such a result so horrifying there are calls for MAEP to implode upon its own ideology rather than except some (long-time coming?) restructuring, the result being that they continue to exist in a very prestigious, public space where they receive oodles of publicity and support beyond your average Non-Profit Art Space’s DREAMS. But the MAEP’s felt entitled, or something, to having it their way. This sentiment continued upon conclusion of the event when they began discussing the next scheduled meeting, which initially was to be Aug. something, except most of the crowd began vehemently questioning an Aug. mtg. of any kind because ‘everybody would be outta town.’ Huh? Where are we going? Do I get to come along? Who can I catch a ride with? I like going places!
Oh, where to begin. First of all, have you ever heard of a ‘Contingency Plan?’ Thirty years, 30 freaking yrs, and you couldn’t come up with any sort of back-up, For Emergencies Only, PLAN B? Seriously, you were all there when the NEA was eviscerated right before your eyes. Cut after cut after cut, so many sociopathic hacks of the anti-art machete you would have thought Art wouldn’t survive such a bludgeoning. But it did, because artists, as the MAEP’s purported to be, are creative and don’t stick to a singular and rigid path. They fight back, whether it means bob and weave or go to the Rope-a-Dope until it can land a 1-2 combo and then BLAMMO, another KO for Art. For real, 30 excruciatingly long and formative years of our contemporary society and you got nothing but a ‘community meeting?’ C’mon!

Secondly, and I truly hate to devote any time to this matter whatsoever, to those out there who wouldn’t cease with the old-geezer-griping and basket-weaving-bitching of being in any way shape or form related to, god-forbid, Contemporary Art, and even worse, ‘New York or LA,’ do we have news for you. The word ‘Contemporary,’ despite the night-terrors it gives you, means ‘of the present time.’ We are all, by the default that is our current existence, contemporaries living in what we might call ‘contemporary society.’ Which means that a basket-weaving artist is a contemporary basket-weaving artist just like a conceptual artist is a contemporary conceptual artist. Unless they are dead. It is not a Genre folks, just a modifier, a qualifier, a word to describe whatever Genre it is as belonging to the Now. And when referring to Now, we must remember that everyone from NY to LA to MN, whether in MPLS or Ely, and everyone else around the globe is connected. We globalized like at least 20 yrs ago. I can’t believe how hard that is to understand. Sheesh.

Lastly, for now anyway, it was pretty obvious that no younger artists gave a crap one way or another, as no one younger than say 45 had any statement, opinion, question, idea, etc. re. the situation facing MAEP. Except maybe Sean Smuda, how old is Smuda? Which is rather odd considering that the artists who are predominately exhibiting in the Target® annex gallery (shit, am I outta dishsoap?), recently anyway, have been younger than 45. By far. Ferchrissakes, Hardland/Heartland have a show coming up in there and they aren’t even drinking age. But there are two sides to that coin, one being that the young artists are willing to just go with the flow and accept the powers-that-be above them and any subsequent streamlining within a major institution, which may be due to a certain generational gap that disconnects them from their elders’ ideas and experiences or a different generational attitude of ‘who gives a shit, my videos are on YouTube.’ The other side may be that they, the young artists, have been much better and far more savvy and creative at realizing, reacting and adjusting to inexorable changes around them, deftly utilizing those things we were talking about earlier, Plan B’s.
Back in Uptown, now lying on my cup-spotted back with eyes closed and slowly slipping into sleep, the smirk beginning to subside more from fatigue than diminishing satisfaction, I couldn’t help but think about where I fit into this whole fiasco. Somewheres in the middle I guess. Not exactly being what you might call an ‘emerging’ artist (I almost emerged back in the early Aughts, so close) and certainly not in the geriatric set that kept hollering in my ear when they just couldn’t wait their turn to talk, I do however sit in a unique position, however ambivalent that may be. On the one hand, I do admire the vim and vigor the old folks still have for this sacred cow. It is indeed unique and has granted a lot of Minnesotan artists tremendous opportunities, especially young artists, with some Big-Time exhibition experience. But then again, with all the provincial disparagement of the ‘contemporary’ it made me wonder if any of these people, the MAEP’s, had visited the shows that the MAEP curatorial panel has programmed over the past few years. Seriously, what must they thought, if they bothered to swing by, when JJ Peet buried himself within one of the walls of the gallery, behind bags of money, to secretly paint still-lives? Did that really have nothing do with anything but Minnesotan things? That couldn’t have been about the art of elsewhere, could it? Doubt it could, I guess, now pass the corn Ma. So I am confused, is what I am saying. Why all the big fuss over a program that is and has been exhibiting some fine, contemporary art that usually fits nicely within the much greater context of the art world, which yes does include quite a bit of NY and LA, when you are not interested in seeing any exhibitions that have anything to do with the contemporary art world that, oooh gross, is heavily influence by NY and LA?
This morning in the newspaper, the art lady had a brief, very journalistic report (right down to the post meeting refreshments and hors d’oeurves, sans description of tastiness) of the goings-on at the big members’ meeting à la musée grande. Turns out a dozen or so of the frustrated artists did in fact crash the party in an attempt to curry the favor of the Board of Trustees only to be stopped in their tracks by good old, tried and true, parliamentary procedure. Uff-da, that’s gotta hurt. So now we must wait for them to return from where ever it is they, the MAEP’s, are off to for the month of Aug. For the next meeting. At their leisure, of course. Of course.

Oh where does the time go? The sands of the hourglass just slip by when in the midst of some serious slacking. And I have been slacking. Maybe it is the summer heat, or maybe it is lower back pain. Could also be attributable to the endless supply of Old Milwaukee in the refrigerator.

So, in this lazy, semi-drunk before noon spirit, let’s keep it light. How about some shout-outs? The first is much-belated and much-deserved and is bestowed upon the trio of nerd/punk/artists Hardland/Heartland for their fully successful event that inaugurated the Summer Events Series at Art of This. Way to go boys and girl, what a treat and thanks for inviting us old guys to the after party.

A sad shout-out goes to the now late George Carlin. I am still not sure why the handrail of the escalator goes faster than the steps, but I will certainly continue to lose more sleep.

Some long distance props goes out to Franconia where my old friend and one-time undergrad muckraker Holly Streekstra has just competed her latest sculptural project. A Camera Obscura made out of a small trailer house painted up traveling carnival style, this marvel is not only technically tight, light tight and trimmed out to the nines inside and out, but damned comfortable as well. Make the trip out there dammit and the wonders of Americana, science and mosquitoes will thrill both mind and soul.

A quick, consoling pat on the back to me for just biting the tongue, blood be damned, and not dragging a couple recent local art ‘exhibits’ out behind the barn for a good throttling like my daddy used to do. C’mon y’all.

Stevie Wonder on drums. YouTube that shit right now.

And, lastly, just in case I don’t get back here before next Saturday, a grand and gratitude-filled thank you shout-out to my daughter Ruby for making the past year the most amazing of all time and who, despite her frequent bouts of whining and crying, continues to remind me on daily basis how it is just going to get better and better. Happy Birthday Sweetheart.

Providing me with ample opportunity to fib my way out of the house after dark in order to ‘help’ facilitate their latest creative mindblast, the local trio that makes up the artistic whatchamacallit, Hardland/Heartland, will entertain and enthrall the Art of This die-hards this Saturday night, with a multifaceted, nonfunctional, electro/sono/video/performo playland of failure and futility, properly celebrated, eventually inebriated. C’mon by. The Golden Energy awaits you.

There was something on my mind a moment ago but it seems to have passed. It wasn’t necessarily hilarious or controversial, though it was disparaging. I was gonna rag on something. What was it…? Oh yeah, me!

Anyway, as I said, the moment has passed and the sun has suddenly come out, so screw it. Let’s keep it positive. Instead of poo-pooing the new images I have on the Artworks, images of art that should have been on there months ago, images of art from both here and New York, art that was mostly destroyed in transit from NY, art that will now R.I.P. in a cardboard box somewhere in the cellar, I will feign excitement of their new incarnation on the Internet. Ta-da!

Courtesy of Free Will Astrology, by Rob Brezny, for the week of May 15, 2008, the horoscope for Sagittarians like myself:

“In his folk song ‘Farewell to the Gold,’ Nic Jones tells the story of a failed gold prospector. After two years of finding no more than a few flecks of the precious metal, the unlucky man is giving up his search. ‘Farewell to the gold / that never I found,’ he sings. ‘Goodbye to the nuggets / that somewhere abound. / For it’s only when dreaming / that I see them gleaming / down in the dark deep underground.’ If I’m reading the omens correctly, Sagittarius, it’s time for you, too, to say goodbye to a quest that hasn’t panned out. Yes, it’ll be sad. But here’s the happy ending: Within a month of the time you surrender, you’ll be led to a better quest with more chance of success.”

It wasn’t exactly one of the choices on the poll, but well said. I’d better drink on this one.

Knock-knock.

Whyyoustillbloggin’

Whyyoustillbloggin’ who?

Whyyoustillbloggin’ when I heard that nobody reads yer shit.

Ouch, that’s cold.

Let’s maybe make this a short read with a small chore. We’ll take a poll. The world is full of polls right now, what’s one more?

Should I:
a)keep the blog alive?
b)let the blog quietly and peacefully pass on?
c)eliminate the writing while continuing to find and post humorous if not always art-related photos?
d)give up the art charade once and for all?
e)go back to college for yet another difficult to obtain but real-world obsolete degree in art history or some shit that might let me eventually work on a Ph.D?
or
f)just get a library card?

I read now that Robert Rauschenberg passed away Monday. I suppose that makes a lot of people sad, and I am sorry to hear about that. His work has always somewhat confused me, not necessarily because of the work itself, but rather because I have rarely agreed with what the critics and historians have said about his work. Like when Saltz called him an ‘artist suicide bomber.’ What the fuck is that all about? Seriously Jerry, even R.R. knew when to say when on the theatrics. Maybe the writers have more intimate information about his intentions than I do, which is likely the case. Anyway, I am hesitant to go into it. Maybe they have Ph.Ds and I don’t. Sleep well Bobby, sleep well.

Sheesh, this is getting more morbid by the minute. How are the results of the poll coming along? Let’s hit the newsdesk… So far not a single vote for any of the six choices. The art world has spoken, very softly. I guess the seventh choice was either:
g)how about take yer poll and shove it?
or
g)since when did you have a blog?

Since back in the day.

Already it has been at least three weeks since visiting New York and still I am finding it difficult to focus on anything but the following: my death-defying cross-Brooklyn (and first) ride on a tall bike; vegan chili dogs; and the unclassifiable new sculptures by Bryan Savitz that defy not only categorization and definition, but a fixedness and stability, not through denial but rather by their protean ability to exist in various roles (art-historical, aesthetic, conceptual, etc.) simultaneously. Just take a look:

The photos do them absolutely no justice, but that’s the internet for you. Guess you had to be there. www.rare-gallery.com

I have tried to keep up with the deluge of events that have been taking place the last two weeks, but I succumbed in drunken-like exhaustion at a certain point. Probably just blacked out and went zombie style. And that was like Wednesday. Fortunately, my domestic partnership requires that a small surveillance camera be attached somewhere on my person, just in case of benders and the like. Here is a run-down of the tape.

Saturday night, I ditched out on the family when local artist and deadbeat like myself, Ruben N. picked me up in his newly-tricked out German automobile. Umber studios received us like we had just scored a half dozen Eightballs, which he had. Though the imagery is somewhat blurry, it appears we were taking in the reception for the collaborative drawing, painting and collage work of Andy Ducette, Ric Stultz and Michael Winslow. But you would have thought the party was for us - the lights weren’t even on when we showed up and I don’t even know who those artist guys are, but once we did, that 42nd St. art space began to glow.

Tuesday afternoon, Minneapolis/St. Paul airport, a pair of recent GED recipients-turned security guards inexplicably get way too rough with me during my attempt to retrieve pretty much world famous artists Jo Jackson and Chris Johanson. The newly arrived visitors were aghast at the sight of their driver slammed face down on the pavement atop his half-finished six pack. Talk about slamming some brewskis! (Too easy.)

Thursday night, Walker Art Center, after an absolutely hilarious and mind-altering conversation between the visiting artists, we are chased willy-nilly through Loring Park by ravenous paparazzi and random player haters, down Hennepin Avenue, across half of downtown until we reach the Monte Carlo, one of Minneapolis’ oldest restaurants. Thank goodness they were still serving dinner, but seriously, it’s 2008, guys can keep their hats on at the table.

Saturday night, the big Opening Reception at Art of This for the visiting artists, a tremendous and supportive turn-out of locals who like to have a good time. A quick apology to the TAC faithful who showed up with bells on, only to be slightly slighted by the guests of the night. That was the most youth we have ever had at the space, and we hope you won’t forget where we are. Big ups, as they might say.

If you were at the Dirtbombs show and I didn’t say hello, it may have been because I was too blown away by their cover of INXS’ Need You Tonight. It’s unexplainable, but goddamm, for one rainy Saturday night it was the jam. Here’s the image from my low-jack.
This may have been the longest bloggity-blo-blog of my life. The past four weeks have just been that way. There should be all sorts of wacky spectacky coming up in the the not-too-far future and I hope to see you there, or at the very least, capture you on video so I can watch it at home the next day. C’mon!

Let the good times roll, friends of the Artworks, all signs point to the end of what was easily the longest, nearly insufferable, most-spent-indoors winter of our lives. In honor of this much-anticipated departure, just now, pants-less, I stepped out the door of the studio and took a leak in the yard.

Pizza Party! John Marks, who has made myriad motions of modification in regards to my writing manner, albeit minor, is throwing a pizza party at his palatial Phillips estate this evening. 8pm sharp. So what if the ‘long paragraph’ is an overused trope here on the old blog, what are you my freaking english teacher? Your crusts are usually too dry.

This afternoon, if anyone wants to partake in a discussion of the art work of one Richard Prince, in either English or French, maybe in regards to his use of appropriation as a tool to critique American culture or as a tried-and-true aesthetic device employed by all sorts of artists smarter, richer and deader than Reecharr Preence, one that the Artist has exhausted in every sense other than the one that has made himself très riche, that as the trendy commodity, feel free to meet me in the lobby at about noon. Bring me something to eat, would ya.

Tomorrow night, get on over to the gallery, Art of This, you know where it is. We have an exhibition opening for local artists Suzy Greenberg and Alison Hiltner and their conceptually collaborative show, PATHOLOGICAL. The party is going to be off the chain, especially after all the attention from local media. Plus, Alison has promised a short dissertation on the obsolescence of the contemporary gallery and the promising future of amphibious art work. Can you say ‘Pool Party?’

Two weeks from right about… now, yers truly will be touching down on a JFK runway for a brief four day respite in New Yawk City. I am already swelling with anticipation, feeling a rejuvenation, a revival of all my faculties, a certain je ne sais quoi that is being funded by those idiots in government who are literally buying votes by doling out checks. Gawd bless America. The itinerary of this trip is pretty simple, it’s all about chilling with the old boys from back in the day and eating at least four slices of Rosario’s a day. Plus, Saturday night is the big art opening up on 26th street. If I had more info, like I asked for at least two weeks ago dammit, it would be shared now. So let’s just focus on pizza.

Yikes, who needs a drink?

Well, it has been four or five days since returning from the South, and I haven’t had an adult beverage since we crossed back over the Mason Dixon Line, which in my book is Highway 62 in south Minneapolis. And believe it or not, I believe the lack of spirits is hampering my hankering to describe our trip to the city of St. Louis. Which is a crying shame, considering all the things we saw and the people we met and the parties we crashed and the hotel room we destroyed. Straight cash homey.
After a total of 10 treacherous, white-knuckle hours driving through southern Minnesota and Iowa, and then into Missouri, get off Interstate 70 at Grand Blvd. and hang a right, heading further south, beginning to notice the blight that massacred north St. Louis in the 90’s, building after building after building bombed out, no windows, no doors, just empty black sockets like those of skulls, and after about a mile of this the guilt starts to burrow into the belly, and we are going to a freaking art museum conference for crying out loud, oh there it is, the big shiny metal structure, with giant windows to boot, standing out like a brick of white gold in the pile of shitty crumbled up bricks that we just drove through with our heads hung so low you’d have thought we were working on the car’s exhaust.

Did I bum you out? There’s no beer in my house, so go to hell.

Seriously, St. Louis needs a hand. Fortunately, there are a few pretty sweet individuals down there that are attempting to do some pretty sweet stuff, fixing up buildings, activating neighborhoods, exhibiting some art that is totally out of place, but what the hell? Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand the whole ‘gentrification’ cycle and how the decimated neighborhoods that were once thriving, usually minority neighborhoods get neglected by city and state officials who have developers whispering in their ears about how in five years they can turn that ‘crummy, crime-ridden’ part of town that is always giving them grief in the newspapers into a great big civic hand-job if they play their cards right. And I understand how the artist types are usually the unintentional foot soldiers in this war on the poor and their homes and maybe they should share some of the blame, but usually they are renters and they have no choice when the warehouse is sold and ‘River Heights’ or ‘Greenwich Metropolitan’ are conceived.

St. Louis has a little different story that is only beginning to be told. The artists are just buying the buildings themselves. Which, sure, is a testament to how rotten it must have gotten, for the developers stuck to the downtown portion of the city. But out in the neighborhoods, the artists are stepping up, no more renting for them. They are going all in, as they say on the riverboats, investing in their projects, themselves and their neighborhood, not to mention the city that will certainly come calling in the future. Just don’t sell out, don’t sell the fuck out!

A couple quick shout outs to Boots Contemporary and the BootPrint they are leaving behind. It’s the real deal. Yeah I’m talking to you Juan and Georgia. Also, I gotta mention the Cheshire Hotel, in all its 18th century English Inn glory, thanks for the towels and painting. And lastly, to one hot momma running the Shangri-La on Cherokee St, damn you got it going on. (p.s. I’m the one who had the Moroccan stew).